Hey, Hey!!! Welcome to our first official Honesty Hour. 🙂
Honesty Hour: Words, is all about being aware and mindful of the words we use and how we use them!
Honesty Hour is where we can just be honest, real, and vulnerable!!!
I believe that it is SO very important that we talk about the hard. Why? One, it helps us. Two, it can help others. Have you ever had someone share something with you and it was literally just what you needed at that very moment? Well… we sure have. Man alive. It is moments like those that just make life… good.
Along with that, I am very passionate about breaking down the mental health stigma and the “we can’t be vulnerable and we have to act like everything is perfect” stigma. This just isn’t the case! Life is hard. Hard and beautiful. So let’s talk about it! Let’s be real. Let’s be vulnerable. Let’s be the small change within our communities. We are super excited to say that Honesty Hour will not only be from my mom and I… it will be from others around us, in every walk of life. Let’s learn from one another, share with one another, and most of all LIFT UP/INSPIRE one another. Here is to beating the nasty stigma. Here is to showing others that in fact, you are not alone, and in some similar way, you are understood!
I will not and can not be that person on social media that just posts the amazing vacations, the pretty house, the perfect job, the adorable kids, etc. I’ll post that. I’ll post the happy and the joy. AND I will also post the hard. Why? Cause that. is. real. life.
So with that passionate (I’m pretty passionate and a little intense at times.. if you can’t tell) 😉 intro… Here we go!!!
Honesty Hour: Words
I’ve learned an important lesson over the last few years.
The first time I really started to notice this problem I have with my words, was when I had to stop myself from saying, “I’d kill myself if…” in the middle of a conversation with a person that had previously attempted suicide multiple times (thank goodness I stopped myself).
I then started to feel it personally when people would say, “I’m so depressed” “that would give me a panic attack” “I’m so anxious I can’t function” or anything of the likes. You know… I used to say that too. And now I don’t.
After having a panic attack of my own, that I am still very ashamed of— having to go to the ER to be sedated and literally feeling like I couldn’t control myself or my body. Literally feeling like I was going to die. Now that I know what a panic attack actually feels like… I don’t use those words lightly anymore.
After feeling so lost, lonely, and scared because I didn’t know who I was or where I had gone— wanting to sleep my life away and never wanting to get out of bed. Thinking, “I used to be such a happy person, where has my happiness gone?” I literally felt as if the Madi I once knew, was lost. I felt hopeless, wondering if she’d ever return. Now that I know what depression feels like.. I don’t use those words lightly anymore.
Honestly… these experiences changed and challenged me to the core.
What really hit me like a ton of bricks, was just a few months ago, when I met a man that was dying of cancer. He was traveling and trying to live the last bit of his life to the fullest.. As I was talking to him I said, “I’d rather die than…” He paused and looked at me. I immediately knew what I had just said and done. Unfortunately, I didn’t catch myself in time to stop what I was saying. It was too late. I couldn’t take back what I had just said, although I wished that I could have. He kindly and simply replied to me, “Trust me, you don’t want to die.” He smiled at me as I stuttered to ask for his forgiveness.
Since these experiences, I have tried so hard to quit using phrases like that. I hate that it is so common. I hate that, “I’ll kill you if you do that”, “that’s gay”, “that’s retarded”, “I’d rather die than…”, etc. are all so common. That they come to my mind and roll off of my tongue so easily and thoughtlessly. I’ve tried to be mindful and aware. Ive tried to stop saying phrases like this.. that are supposed to be a joke, or taken lightly, when in reality, it is something very serious and real to someone else.
I will continue to strive to stop saying these things.
Here’s to being mindful and aware of yourself and those around you. Putting yourself in others shoes. Here’s to empathy. To loving our weaknesses and imperfections and making the best out of our imperfect human lives! Here is to always trying and never giving up. To mindful speaking and better words on my part.
Join us next week for Honesty Hour: Real Body Love, Postpartum!
Madeliene & Ruthie
Written By: Madeliene
Experienced By: Madeliene